Friends For The Good Life
TRANSCRIPT:
Awesome. Well, good morning. Good to see all your faces. It's I am it's my privilege to open up God's word with you this morning. My name's Mark.
If you're new here, I'm one of the pastors. we are in the book of Proverbs. I think it's on your bulletin if you have it, but our verse this morning is Proverbs 1717. had the opportunity to spend a couple days with the men up there to preach up there, and now I get to come back down here and wear all the hats. I was running sound this morning and now I'm preaching. So pray for me. Pray for me. I'll read our verse and then I'll pray for us. Proverbs
1717. Listen carefully. This is God's word. This is the word of the Lord. Thanks be to God. Let me pray.
Yeah, Lord, we now come before you and we sit under your word. We pray that your word would wash over us what we know not you teach us, what we have not, you give us, what we are not, you would make us by your spirit. We pray in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. I want you to think about as we launch out, I want you to think about a friend of yours. It could be any friend, it could be a friend from your past or present, maybe from your school days or high school or college. I want you to think about this friend.
And why were they a friend or are a friend to you? Like what what what are some memories that come to mind when you think about that particular friend? Just think about that for a second.
Ma maybe it's some stories, some adventures you were on, maybe it was a shared heart and desire for something. There was this a season in your life where they walked through it with you. I I just want you to think about that friend. Whatever friend comes to mind.
C.S. Lewis, in his book The The Four Loves, he he says this friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, What? You two? I thought I was the only one.
There's this camaraderie together. So I was doing the experiment that I just had you do. And what came to mind was friends friends of mine from high school. This is us. Rick showed his picture from a little kid last week. This is me at about age twenty-five. and these are good friends of mine. But I thought about the one in the middle with the big smile. This is Chris. we went on some adventures together.
met Chris in high school. We had a shared love. Again, C.S.O. says you have this shared passion. We found we had a shared passion for several things. One, basketball. We played every day, and we had a shared love for Magic Johnson and the Lakers, and we would talk about that. And then we realized we actually had many passions in common. and so we we went on lots of adventures, and I was not a great student in high school. I I I played basketball with these guys.
guys and did not do my homework. And so and and Rick wasn't a great student either, so your pastors are awesome. Let me just say that. Most of you probably if if we added our GPAs together, it would be your GPA. So so one year, I think it might I don't even know. Well at one point in high school, maybe between my junior and senior year or the year before, Chris and I were in summer school. Now for those of you that don't know, that wasn't because we were extra smart. It was because
We hadn't done well in class and we needed to take some classes. and so but it was an adventure. So we'd get out about noon and we would say, Okay, wh where is this day gonna lead us? And we would we would do things like drive up to Wyoming and buy illegal fireworks and we would get just grosses upon grosses of grosses of bottle rockets and we would go on these bottle rocket sprees just firing fireworks out of the car and and at each other and
Me and many of these friends went to the golf course and at night and we'd have these wars on the golf course. It was amazing. Well, this one particular day after summer school, I'm in Chris's car and his Bronco II and we're going home and he he just rolls through this stop sign and he he rolls through it to take a ride so fast he doesn't see a cop sitting right there. And so we're immediately pulled over. And he looks, this cop comes up to us and he looks in and he sees these bottle rocks.
Like some of them, and he gets very angry. He reaches in the window and grabs the bottle rockets, he's like, You know these are illegal? We're like, Yes, sir, sorry, sir. And then he he he he breaks them because they're little sticks, right? And then he breaks the bottle rocket, and then he does this crazy thing. He throws them on Chris's lap. He's like, get out of here, I better not catch you again. We're like, sweet, okay.
And so I was thinking about that a few weeks ago and I so I texted texted Chris. He lives in New York. We've haven't had a lot of time together after college, but I texted him I said this. I said, I was just telling my family about the time when we got pulled over and the cop broke the bottle rockets and threw them back on your lap. Funny face. He says, I California rolled that stop sign. I had no shoes on, I had no license, and my registration was expired. Ridiculous. I'm shocked that we made it.
I said, it was amazing. Also the bottle rocket wars on South Suburban Golf Course at night were so amazing. He said, Yes. And then he wrote, I'm thankful that we became friends when we did. I am lucky to have had such incredible, albeit crazy, memories. And I said same. Grateful for you, brother. I I hope that you do have and have had some friendships like that in your life.
They are
I hope those are the kind of memories. Well, maybe not those kind, but you had some memories when I said think of a friend. We're in this series through the book of Proverbs, and we call it the good life, because Proverbs is about wisdom, meaning understanding how God's world is created and living in light of that so that you can live wisely, so that you can have what you really want. The good life.
The good life. And in Proverbs, there's there's all these themes that come up on repeat. And starting with chapter 10, they they kind of get shotgunned at you. So there's not like a chapter on this and a chapter on that, but throughout they're scattered. And one of the things that's scattered throughout the book of Proverbs is this idea of friendship. Friendship. So in order to really have the good life, it's necessary to travel.
with some friends along the way. This is the good life. we we might wonder and and and think is friendship really necessary? I mean after all everything else that's going on in our lives is is friendship the thing that we need for the good life?
C. S. Lewis writing in the Four Loves, he he says this, and in a sense he says, Well, it isn't technically necessary, or at least biologically, he'll say. Here's what he says. He says, Friendship is, in a sense, not at all derogatory to it, the least natural of loves, the least instinctive, organic, biological, gregarious, and necessary. He says, without Eros, the romantic love, none of us would have b been begotten. And without affection, kind of
of familial love, none of us would have been reared. But we can live and breed without friendship. The species, biologically considered, has no need of it. He goes on and he says, Where where does he say that? There he goes. He says, Friendship is unnecessary, but listen to what he says. Like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself. For God did not need to create.
It has no survival value. Rather, it is one of those things that things which give value to survival. I like that. Philosophy, art, friendship. Has no survival value. Rather, it's one of those things which give value to survival. So Lewis, writing in 1960, said, Well, it's not necessary, but it it's necessary for essentially the good life, is what he's saying. But we are in a friendship crisis.
In America, and really probably around the world. Let me just give you some statistics real quick. Don't let this numb your mind too quickly, but I'll go quickly. Since 1990, there has been a 600% increase in Americans that report having no close friends. Nearly one in five Americans will say, I have no close friends.
Since 2010. Think about what was happening at 2010, the widespread adoption of the smartphone. Since 2010, time devoted to friends has collapsed. Among young people aged 15 to 29, nearly 50% of their time is spent alone in isolation now. Twenty-one percent of US adults feel report feeling lonely regularly. Of those, 81% experience anxiety and depression. Seventy-five percent report little to no sense of meaning.
Or purpose in life. All of the negative trends are disproportionately affecting men. Is Siri Siri going off over there? seventy-three percent said technology is driving loneliness. This is in spite of the fact that the average American now has over five hundred Facebook friends. Yeah.
In twenty twenty three, the Surgeon General declared loneliness a public health epidemic, with social disconnection carrying the mortality equivalent of smoking fifteen cigarettes a day. It raises heart disease by twenty-nine percent and stroke by thirty-two percent. And no doubt in a room this size, many of you resonate with much of that.
You feel that. And maybe that's why you're here, and we're glad you're here. In fact, I will say later that this is a a great opportunity for us as a church to meet a felt need in the world and connect it with the gospel. Lewis said it's not necessary, but we're finding even scientific scientifically and sociologically, actually, it is necessary for our survival, friendship. It is part of the Imago Day.
triune nature who is triune in friendship. Did you ever think about that? Now we tend to push it aside. Friendship tends to get the last of our energy and effort. Why is that?
Even though every parent in this room knows the the modern parable that that it goes like this show me your friends and I'll show you your future. But we know how it important it is for our kids. We don't necessarily make time for it. It gets pushed aside. There's a lot else going on in our life. Why is friendship a low priority, even when what we're gonna see, the Bible says actually it's necessary for the good life? Why do we push it aside? Namely because truth.
True friendship is costly. It's time consuming. It requires you to have margin in your life. It requires energy and effort and time and and there's so much else in our world vying for all those things, and so we think, I don't have time for friendship. But
My hope this morning is to show you you need to make time. You need to make some margin in your life. So I want to a ask and answer three questions as we look throughout the book of Proverbs this morning. What is true friendship? How is true friendship cultivated and grown? And then where do we find the power to actually be true friends? So those three questions. Number one, what is true friendship? Proverbs 17:17 again says, A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for
adversity. The first thing that is true of friendship is that friendship is a love relationship. Now we live in a culture that cannot conceive of love other than sexual or romantic love, and that's a shame because as Lewis will say in his book, th this is a necessary love that we need in our lives. We will live in a weird culture where it's like if you have any affection for someone that is who's same sex, they're like, that must be sexual. That's not true. In fact
Lewis goes on and and pushes back against that for like ten pages in his book. He said, No, a a friend loves at all times. It's a love relationship. I I wonder if much of what Solomon gets and writes about friendship, he gets that from talking to his dad, David. David and his best friend Jonathan had a love relationship of friends, two dudes on mission together. And so he learned from him. A true friend is committed to
To you in the best and worst of times. There's a commitment. Again, this is where it starts to get costly, right? Proverbs 27:10. Do not forsake your friend and your father's friend, and do not go to your brother's house in the day of your calamity. Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother who is far away. There's a commitment. A companion will say, hey.
if you ever need anything, let me know. You're like, thanks. But a friend? A friend doesn't have to be ass. A friend shows up at your house w when there's a crisis. A friend has a a meal in tow. A friend says, Hey, I I know you and your your spouse need some time. Let me just take the kids for a day for you. They show up, they're committed.
In the best of times and the worst of times, which means a true friend is rare. Well, we don't and can't have many friends because of they are costly. It takes time, it takes investment, it takes energy. A true friend is rare. Proverbs 18:24: a man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Again, we we all have many companions, and that's not a bad thing. They're useful to us, and you're useful to them. Like they meet a need in your life. And often out of companionship, friendship is born. But but a true friend sticks closer than a brother in thick or thin.
A true friend is a fellow traveler, as Lewis says, with a shared vision or purpose. If you have no shared vision or purpose, that that person will not become a friend of yours. Here's what Lewis says about that. He says, he says, that is why those pathetic people, that's kind of rude, those pathetic people who simply want friends can never make any.
The very condition of having friends is that we would want something else besides friends. Where the truthful answer to the question, do you see the same truth, would be, I see nothing, and I don't care about the truth. I only want a friend. No friendship can arise. Though affection, of course, may, there would be nothing for the friendship to be about.
And friendship must be about something, even if it were only an enthusiasm for dominoes or white mice. I love that.
Those who have nothing can share nothing. Those who are going nowhere have no fellow travelers.
So, what is true friendship? It's a love relationship, it's committed, it's rare, and it's a shared vision or purpose. So, then how is it cultivated? How does it grow? I'll say four things. In fact, these are not from me. I got these from Pastor Tim Keller as he talked about this, and so I couldn't come up with better than this, so I just said, let's go with that. so the first thing is that there is constancy. There's constancy to friendship. So again, Proverbs 17:17.
A friend loves at all times. And a brother is born for adversity. For a friend to become a true friend, at some point in that relationship, there was a lot of time spent together. Again, my friend Chris is a dear friend, but we spent a lot of time. We haven't for decades, and we could call each other up and we can hang out and it would be great. But if we had never put in the time before, that friendship would never exist.
Today. So there's a constancy. A friend loves at all times. A brother is born for adversity. What what the what the Proverbs is saying is: hey, there's family, there's brothers and sisters. They're going, especially in the culture in which this was written, they're going to be there for you no matter what. You might not like them.
But your brother will be there for you. But a friend, a friend is a brother or a sister that you choose, and they choose you. And so sometimes our friends are actually dearer to us than our family because of the constancy in our lives. Number two, there's carefulness in friendships.
Proverbs twenty five twenty. Whoever sings songs to a heavy heart is like one who takes off a garment on a cold day and like vinegar on soda. What is he saying? That there's an emotional intelligence within each friendship. Like you you you know
A true friend weeps with those who weep and rejoices with those who rejoices and knows when each one should happen. Knows the emo has enough emotional intelligence for a a particular relationship to know how to speak, how to joke, how to laugh with that person. Like I have a lot of friends that w when I when I belittle them, they see they receive that as love.
But if I do that to some other people in my life, they're like, why is Mark such a jerk? I'm like, I'm just being funny. No, you're not. I'm like, because I'm not emotionally intelligent in those relationships. But with your friends, they could be like, Man, you you burned me. You destroyed me. Yeah, I did, and it was awesome. Or you you you you know what I'm saying. I'm I don't need to keep going. But there is there is a carefulness. There is a there's an awareness of how
To kind of treat this particular relationship. I love what JC Ryle said about friendship. He says this: the world is full of sorrow because it is full of sin. It is a dark place. It is a lonely place. It is a disappointing place. We all feel that. The brightest sunbeam in it is a friend. I love this. Friendship halves our troubles and doubles our joys.
It halves our troubles. Do you feel that ever? I I I I I'm grateful that I am also good friends with the other elders of this church. And I don't take that for granted. I I remember the Davidsons when they first came to the church.
And they were like, hey, we just want to know, we we have one question for you. Are you friends with the other elders? I like, Yeah, what are you talking about? They're like, No, that's important to us because we are we are leaving a church where they're not friends and it's terrible. I was like, well I hope I'm always friends with them.
But I I r I remember s I say to them regularly, I I'm so grateful for them because their friendship has my troubles. I feel like they're carrying the weight that I don't have to carry on my own and it doubles my joys.
I hope that's true for your friends as well. So there's a care constancy, a carefulness, and then this is important. It's intention with carefulness, but there's a candor, a candor to friendship. Proverbs 27, 5 and 6. Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend. Profuse are the kisses of an enemy. A true friend has enough credit with you that they can say the hard thing because it's for your good.
Do you have any friends like that? Where they can say, and you've given permission to them in their lives to speak into your life. And even though it might be hard to hear, you know that they have your best in mind. They're for you and not against you. So there's a candor to it. Wounds from a friend can be trusted. Perfect.
So let me yesterday I was I was having lunch with the guys up at the retreat and I was sharing, hey, I have to come back, I have to preach, and they were asking about it. And then so they had some questions. In fact, Kinton Mattoon asked this question. He said, So can do you think a person's best friend can be or should be a spouse? And I said, Well, yes and no. I hope that in your marriage you have an
incredible friendship absolutely but no because a true friend can and should say things in your life that puts the relationship at risk if they need to and you should not say that to your spouse.
Wives make terrible holy spirits. Husbands make terrible holy spirits. You need others, friends, to process, to speak truth into your lives. You have to give them permission. That takes time, it takes all these things. There's a candor. There's a carefulness to it. That doesn't mean you just rip your friend all the time, right? So those things are intention, but there's a candor in it. Have you ever said to anyone, if you ever see in my life something out of whack?
With my character, something that's stunting my growth in Christ, will you gently point that out to me? If you have that kind of friend, that is a gift on the path to the good life. And then finally, to grow and cultivate friendship, there's a counsel involved. Proverbs 27:9: oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.
Like you're going through something or you're jammed up or you don't know, you're like, man, I really want to talk to him. I really want to talk to them. Because I think they'll be able to see things that I'm not seeing there. If you have those kind of friends, it's a gift.
You know, recently at our house we had our our friends, their their names are the Ratnels. They we we were at the mission field together without babies and we had babies together, we grew up on the mission field, and we just spent time and and and so many times throughout the the decades now there's been moments where we've spoken gentleness and encouragement and candor and rebuke into each other's life that there's just this love for one another.
Th there have been times in our marriage where we we were locked up, jammed up, and we're like, you know, we need to bring over the Rath Mells just to sit in this room and hear us argue. And they even sided with me once. It's true, right? One time.
That was necessary for our relationship in that moment. I hope you have friends like that. Yeah, yeah. So there there's constancy, carefulness, candor, counsel. Now these are the things that help friendship grow out of the soil.
But of course, Proverbs has plenty to say about things that destroy friendship, right? I won't go through all of them, but lying, gossip, Proverbs 16, 28, a perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends. Unforgiveness, Proverbs 17:9. Whoever would foster love covers over an offense that's forgives an offense. But whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. There's betrayal.
And when our friends lie to us, when our friends betray us, when they gossip about us, they don't remain friends very long. And when we do that, we don't remain friends very long. If we don't give forgiveness, we don't remain friends very long. And so how do we or where can we find the power to be a true friend? Well, we look to Jesus. Jesus, when he put on flesh and lived among us, his enemies had a derogatory
nickname for him or they thought it was derogatory. They called Jesus the friend of sinners. And they were right. Jesus is the friend of sinners. Praise God for that.
Jesus on the night that he was betrayed, he gathered his disciples in the upper room. And in John chapter thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, he has a message for him. And every word he speaks in those hours before his crucifixion has this weight of urgency to it.
And in John chapter 15, he says this, after washing his disciples' feet and teaching them about the Holy Spirit, and and here's what he says, starting in verse 12: This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone laid down his life for his friends. You are my friends.
If you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know the master, what the master is doing, but I have called you friends. Again, when we betray, when we lie, when we gossip about our friends, they're not our friends very long. But Jesus, knowing he's about to be betrayed, he's about to people are gonna lie about him. His these close people.
He doesn't abandon the friendship. In fact, he doubles down. There are 10,000 blessings that come to us in the gospel, and we should celebrate them all. But do you ever celebrate this one? That God calls you friend? Friend. This is amazing. And this is where we get the power to be friends.
While we were sinners, Christ died for us. And so, to the degree that you understand the costliness of the friendship that was purchased for us by Jesus on the cross, then we can understand I if that's how I am loved, if God is my friend, then I now have the power, both by example and by spirit, to be a friend. To be the kind of friend that forgives.
Even when betrayed. To be the kind of friend that loves even when it's difficult. So to have a true friend, you've got to be a true friend. Proverbs 13 20 says, He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools will suffer harm. This is the principle of the path again. Who you walk with will shape your life. This is why friendship is necessary for the good life.
Well, if we want to grow wise to be the kind of friends that we need to be, to have the kind of friends that we want to have, then we should walk with wisdom incarnate. Jesus Christ, He will show us how to be wise, how to be a friend. And so I think we should all do a friendship audit in our life. Just over the next couple minutes, I'm going to ask some questions and just kind of answer them in your mind as I ask these questions. Number one.
Is there margin in your life for your friends? Do you have any time?
Is there any margin in your life for friends? And I get it, we we want to be good, we want we spend time with our family, we got work, and we got all these things, but is there any space in your life for friends? And if not, make space because you want to live the good life. Number two, do you see friendship as a must-have or a merely nice to have? Is it a must-have?
Or is it just nice to have
Number three, are you a true friend to anyone? Is there constancy, carefulness, candor, and counsel in that relationship?
A true friend to anyone. Number four, is anyone a true friend to you?
Is there a friend that you should reach out to this week to show your gratitude to in your life? You just say, hey, my church, my pastor preached on friendship, it was weird, I know, but it just made me think about you. And I just want to thank you for your friendship.
Is there a friend you need to apologize to and ask forgiveness? Maybe someone who was a friend at one time, but because of sin, it's no longer a friend, but in Jesus, he can heal that. So is there a friend you need to apologize to? And then finally, do you feel your need for a friend?
So pray and ask God to provide for you in this area. For a friend. Now at Redemption Parker, we we can't make you friends. But we do try to provide the soil for friendship to grow out of. So for example, right now there's 70 men that are spending time together.
Th they're they're listening to some preaching, but they're also spending time hiking and biking and golfing and frisbee golf and fishing. They're all doing those things. Those are important moments for friendship to grow out of. We have gospel communities, intentional places where you can s begin to do life with people. Again, it won't make you friends, but it could provide the soil. We have a women's retreat coming up in the fall.
If you feel disconnected and want to just get to know some women, that'd be great. Again, we have all sorts of events because we believe that the good life is done with friends. I think of the greatest friend in all the literature. Sam Wise Gamge. Right? There's an example of constancy and candor and sacrifice and time and margin. Yes, this is who we want to be. Well.
We we talk about here at Redemption Parker that we want to be committed to community. That's one of our values. And then another one is on mission. And to be on mission is just hey, we carry the gospel to our world. Well, there is a real felt need among our neighbors. Our neighbors and our coworkers, the world out there is lonely.
Y you ha you have to find a place to be on mission in the world. It could be your next door neighbors. It could be I I in my own life a few years ago I was like, man, all I do is hang out with Christians. No offense to you guys, but I need some time with people that
Just drop F bombs in my presence all the time, like when I was in military ministry, yeah. And I need I need to just grow some friends. And so I joined a tennis team. The only team that would take me all the way out in Kin Carl and I just hang out with them. And I just got invited to a surprise birthday party. I hope th they don't listen to my sermons. I know they don't. so but I just have some time now where we are spending time together. I hope that you have that because the mission matters.
The data is out there. Sociologists and public health agencies are recognizing what we know. People are not meant to live in isolation. It's detrimental to their mental, physical, emotional well-being. And new breakthroughs in technology are not gonna solve the problem but only make the problem worse. Advances in medicine are not gonna solve the problem. There's a felt need among our neighbors that we are uniquely positioned to meet because Jesus has shown his friendship to us. We can offer
His friendship and our friendship to them. We can offer the friend of sinners to sinners like our neighbors and ourselves. We get to introduce people to him and to bef befriend the world. Let us do it, church, for the glory of God and the joy of all people. Amen? Amen. Let me pray for us.
A Cool Head
AI TRANSCRIPT
A|0:04|Good ⁓ to see you guys. And throughout this week, if you guys can be ⁓ praying, ⁓ even fasting ⁓ for the men of RP, there's seventy of us that are gonna be on this men's retreat ⁓ on Friday. So we're super excited for what the Lord will do ⁓ amongst the men of RP. ⁓ I think I'm pretty echo you. A|0:25|All right, well why don't you guys open up your Bibles to ⁓ Proverbs ⁓ sixteen? Proverbs sixteen. Mark, can you turn me down a little bit? A|0:37|Proverbs ⁓ sixteen. A|0:42|Last Sunday, two young ladies ⁓ from our church, ⁓ one in high school, the other in college, ⁓ laughed in my face. ⁓ Told me I was crazy because I had never heard of the artist Noah gone. ⁓ Just a few days prior to that, we were having our elders' retreat, and they gave me a similar look and told me that I'm living under a rock because I had never heard of ⁓ Ozempic. ⁓ Well, maybe they're right. A|1:11|But I'll tell you one thing that I am up to speed on Pixar movies. ⁓ A|1:18|Our weekly Shabbat in the Eisenberg home always kicks off on Friday night, and usually with a movie, and we take turns choosing. Many a Friday night we're we're watching a Pixar film. ⁓ A couple years back we we sat down to to watch ⁓ a movie and I found myself captivated by a story. Pixars inside out. ⁓ A|1:43|Now this movie got my ⁓ attention. I was most intrigued with the character ⁓ Anger. ⁓ There he is. ⁓ Who who lives inside of young Riley. There she is. ⁓ Anger is downright funny. Like when he he tastes broccoli pizza for the first time, he says, Congratulations, San Francisco, you've ruined pizza. ⁓ A|2:07|But they also captured some good truth about our emotion. The movie ⁓ is based off the psychologist Paul Ekman's theory of basic human emotion. For me, it it hit pretty close to home. Riley, when when anger shows up, reminded me a lot of myself as a kid. Should be a picture there. A|2:33|You're laughing now, it gets worse. If if you if you cross this kid you'd get the infamous Eisenberg line. ⁓ A|2:43|You're mean and stupid and God doesn't love you. ⁓ I mean, that that mean mug, usually with like seven t-shirts on, I had some sensory things going on. I would say you're mean ⁓ and stupid and God doesn't love you. The fact that I'm preaching now, one word grace, grace, and ⁓ more grace. And I wish I could say that that when I became a Christian, little ⁓ angry Rick for the last 20 years, nowhere to be found. ⁓ A|3:12|And yet that is not ⁓ the case. Literally last weekend I I ran a half marathon with ⁓ my wife Holly and some folks from RP. And in in less than fifteen seconds into the race, Holly throws me the I love you sign. And it was the last time I saw her until she ⁓ A|3:33|Cheered me on at the finish line. And you'd think, awesome. ⁓ Your wife is faster than you. She she trained at a sub-9-minute mile pace while I trained at a slow ⁓ 11-minute pace, or what I'd call zone two. ⁓ Took some days off as well. And you you parted ways on race day. Great. Not exactly. A|3:54|When she threw up that ⁓ I love you sign, and I haven't told her this. ⁓ It it it it may have well been a gang sign from a rival set. ⁓ I I ran my fastest mile just trying to keep up, which just about gassed me half a mile ⁓ in. Eventually I slowed down and eventually I got over it and calmed down. ⁓ Or two weeks ago, playing tennis with Pastor Mark, when some mom and her little two year old son began playing on the swings right behind. A|4:24|I ⁓ I told Mark as they came, ⁓ advantage me. ⁓ I I got young kids, I'm used to the noise. Well, right away Mark broke my serve, and the only thing going on inside of me was pure ⁓ rage. ⁓ Why would they build a swing set right next to a tennis court? Are you kidding me? ⁓ I ha I have an anger problem. A|4:50|What about you? Do do you ⁓ have ⁓ an anger problem? Don't don't don't answer too quickly. Think about that question seriously. Do ⁓ you have a problem with ⁓ anger? A|5:05|Let me read our passage this morning, then we'll dive into the answer to that question. So if you're not already there, Proverbs sixteen, verse thirty-two will be our text. And this passage, this verse here will will anchor us, but but but eventually we'll be ⁓ all over the book of Proverbs. Proverbs sixteen, verse thirty-two. Whoever ⁓ is slow to anger is better than the mighty. A|5:35|And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. Do you have an anger? A|5:47|Dr. David Pallison ⁓ passed away a few years back, but he he was a well-respected counselor, not not only in the biblical counseling world, but in the Christian psychology ⁓ world, even in the secular therapeutic ⁓ world. And he wasn't afraid of psychology. All truth is God's truth. And yet he knew just when and how to apply the gospel in ways that would penetrate the soul, bring actual healing. Well, in his A|6:17|Wonderful book on anger, ⁓ Good ⁓ and Angry. I highly ⁓ recommend it. My favorite chapter was chapter two. ⁓ It was extremely short, the shortest chapter I've ever read, but it but it was packed with a convicting and powerful punch. I'll actually read the whole chapter for us this morning. Chapter two. ⁓ Do you have a serious problem with anger? A|6:46|Answer ⁓ Yes. ⁓ Whoever is slow to anger is A|6:52|Is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. Charles Bridges in his Proverbs commentary says this: conquering a city is child's play compared with ruling the turbulent, demanding, upset world inside each one of us. The one ⁓ is only the battle of the day, the other ⁓ is the conflict of a lifetime. A|7:19|This is where ⁓ all of us ⁓ live. The conflict of a lifetime, namely ruling ⁓ our spirits. A|7:30|As we've seen ⁓ in this sermon series so far, Proverbs is this wonderful book of wisdom aimed to get you to see the path that leads you to the good life. This book is about wisdom, wisdom from God that actually works. And like we've already seen, every proverb that you read is going to touch a central theme ⁓ of this book, and that's this: the fear of the Lord. A|8:01|The fear the Lord is at the heart ⁓ of ⁓ wisdom. Everything we're going to see in the Proverbs, every different topic we're going to be preaching on can only be lived out if we're walking in wisdom. Namely, walking in the fear ⁓ of the Lord. And remember, fearing God is simply taking him at his word. Taking God seriously. A|8:29|⁓ The word of God for us this morning, whoever is slow to anger is better ⁓ than the mighty. And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. Socrates said the ⁓ unexamined life is not worth living. Solomon would add though the life that cannot rule its own spirit will never know ⁓ true wisdom, and thus never live the life God has. A|8:58|intended. Speaking on anger, the the ancient Romans had a saying, ⁓ Anger is a brief madness. ⁓ I love that. ⁓ Anger is a brief ⁓ madness. ⁓ A|9:15|Few forces have have left a trail of destruction like anger has. ⁓ It has shattered marriages, fractured families, divided churches, destroyed countries, and turned lifelong friends into bitter enemies. It fuels gossip, escalates conflict, ⁓ erupts behind the wheel as you're driving on Parker Road. A|9:41|And in its darkest moments has ended lives. Wherever resentment, hostility, or bitterness takes root, anger is often growing, flourishing underneath. The mistake we often make is assuming anger ⁓ only belongs to the loud, ⁓ to the explosive. ⁓ A|10:02|We say, I I I know folks with an anger problem. ⁓ That's not me. But did you know anger wears many faces? Yes, sometimes it shouts and other times it withdraws. It can sound like harsh words, but it can also hide behind constant criticism, endless complaining, quiet resentment, passive aggression. A|10:30|Yeah, none of us can sit this one out. Yes, you you may indeed have a serious ⁓ anger problem. If you've spent your life quick to argue, quick to react, super defensive, easily offended, quick to lose your temper, this message is for you. A|10:51|And if years of unmet ⁓ expectations, deep hurt or lingering disappointments have quietly settled you into ⁓ bitterness and cynicism, this message is also for you. ⁓ Some people ⁓ vent ⁓ their anger, ⁓ others bottle it up. Some bury it so ⁓ deep that they don't even recognize they still have it. A|11:18|But every one of us knows what it's like to wrestle ⁓ with anger. ⁓ The question isn't whether anger is present, it's whether anger ⁓ is ruling us. ⁓ Or ⁓ whether ⁓ by the grace of God we have learned to rule it. A|11:38|For instance, when you read Paul, the Apostle Paul's vice list in the New Testament, you you quickly discover that that anger has a large family. ⁓ Wrath, rage, malice, slander, ⁓ bitterness, complaining, on and on. These are all branches ⁓ growing from the same root. Which does lead itself to a at least a theological question here in the beginning is ⁓ anger in and of itself. ⁓ A|12:08|Wrong, bad. Back to Pixar's Inside Out. Now let's not get our theology from Disney. But I think we can learn something here about anger. All truth is God's truth. For instance, they make it clear that the character anger is not the villain, that every emotion has a purpose when it functions properly. A|12:33|Anger sees himself as the protector of ⁓ justice ⁓ and fairness. ⁓ His job, he exists to say, this ⁓ is not right. One of the most helpful books I've read ⁓ in the last couple of years is a book called Unoffendable. A|12:55|In it, the the the author argues that that the more we can grasp God's grace toward us, the less ⁓ room there is for offense or ⁓ anger toward others. ⁓ And though this book was extremely convicting and ⁓ practical and helpful for me, and I've highly recommended it to others, I believe this author who who doesn't claim to be a theologian, but I believe his his theological understanding of of human A|13:24|Human anger is flawed. He says, Because God and ⁓ God alone judges perfectly, we have no right to anger. Not even righteous anger. Now I do understand and even appreciate where he's coming from. Anger is a slippery ⁓ slope. ⁓ And it's way too easy, especially for sinners. ⁓ A|13:50|So to return ⁓ evil ⁓ for evil and to justify ourselves in the process. ⁓ So instead of being nuanced about anger, I get it, it's easier to just say no ⁓ anger ever. Period. But again, what ⁓ is anger? Well, at its core, ⁓ anger says that's ⁓ wrong. That's wrong. A|14:16|Namely, it's a response to something we believe should not have happened. Betrayal, injustice, mistreatment, whatever. Anger is a a moral emotion. ⁓ It reveals what we value and what we believe matters most. ⁓ The problem isn't necessarily feeling anger, it's what we choose to do ⁓ with that ⁓ anger. In fact, there are things we should. ⁓ A|14:46|Be angry about. Anger is part of what led Holly and I into foster care. Something in us looks at the brokenness these little image-bearers have experienced and says, this is not how it's supposed to be. Healthy anger recognizes that something is wrong and is not ⁓ okay to call it okay. I mean, isn't this the anger we see in Jesus? A|15:16|The one who were told to imitate. He got ⁓ angry at hypocritical Pharisees. ⁓ He was pissed when his disciples pushed children away. And he was fired up at death itself when he hears that his friend Lazarus passed. A|15:38|When he overturns the tables as he's clearing the temple, the Bible says he made the whip himself. Premeditated. Jesus saw what was wrong, and he refused to make peace with it. This is good ⁓ anger. Not all anger is bad ⁓ anger. And there's a reason Paul tells the church. ⁓ A|16:03|Christians like us in Ephesus, be angry and do not sin. This is a New Testament command. It's an imperative. Good anger is part of what it looks like to be a follower of Jesus. But Paul's warning at the end of that verse for sinners like you and I is something we definitely need to take heed. ⁓ Be angry ⁓ and do not. ⁓ A|16:33|Sin. ⁓ Paul says that 'cause it's really easy for you and I to let anger, even good anger, when that happens, turn into sin. Bad anger. A|16:46|Ray Ortland says this: we all feel anger. And not all anger is wrong. In fact, the closer we get to Christ, the angrier we will get at real evil. By nature, we are cowards and compromisers. We need holy anger if we're going to represent the real Jesus to our world. But it is so hard to sort out which anger is good and which anger is bad, isn't it? it is. And why is that? Well, sin. ⁓ A|17:16|Sin and we don't merely sin, ⁓ we ⁓ are sinners. Again, Dr. David Pallison says this anger goes wrong ⁓ when you get ⁓ God like. Your desires become divine law. Poke your way into every example of bad anger and you'll find ⁓ God plain. ⁓ A|17:39|Whether I'm really ticked off or just a little irritated or deeply embittered, it's all about Almighty Me. ⁓ Anger is demanding and entitled. This is what I want. My will be done. The world and all that is in it are subject to me. All persons, objects, and events are subject to my ep opinion and evaluation. Yikes. This is where. A|18:07|think the the psychology behind inside at it can ⁓ fall apart. It doesn't have to. But but when when when you're made up simply of parts, whether that be anger, ⁓ anxiety, embarrassment, fear, joy, so on and so forth, it's it's really easy not ⁓ to be accountable for your actions. A|18:27|The Bible's clear, when you ⁓ get angry, do not sin. Cause if you do sin, don't simply blame that part of you and think you're off the hook. I'm Italian, sorry. ⁓ A|18:45|This is why the book of Proverbs is filled with warnings about anger. ⁓ Be ⁓ slow to ⁓ anger. ⁓ Because this can take you down a slippery slope. Let's look at some of these Proverbs that are dealing with ⁓ anger. Proverbs 14 17. ⁓ A man ⁓ of quick temper acts foolishly. A|19:10|Or Proverbs 14, 29. Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding. But he who is ⁓ who has a hasty temper exalts folly. Proverbs 15:18. A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention. A|19:31|Proverbs nineteen eleven. ⁓ Good sense ⁓ makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs nineteen nineteen. A man of great wrath will pay the penalty. A|19:47|Proverbs 25 28. A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. ⁓ Proverbs 29 11 A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back. In Proverbs 29:22, ⁓ a man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression. A|20:22|There is. Back to our verse ⁓ this morning. Whoever ⁓ is ⁓ slow ⁓ to anger is better ⁓ than the mighty. And he who rules ⁓ his spirit than he who takes ⁓ a city. Anyone know when the first moment of human anger ⁓ came into the story of Scripture? A|20:47|Cain and Abel, I love it. Cain and Abel. Yeah, back in Genesis four is his brother Abel's offering. It is accepted by God and Cain's is not. Genesis four five tells us Cain was very ⁓ angry, and his face fell. A|21:05|In verse six, God calls out anger. He calls out his anger. He says, Why are you angry? And why has your face fallen? But but what's intriguing is what God tells Cain in verse seven. He's warning him as he's seeing Cain's ⁓ anger rising higher and higher. God tells Cain, Sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, and you must rule over it. A|21:33|In this moment, God is warning Cain. Whoever is slow to anger is better than the Almighty. And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. Sin ⁓ is crouching at the door. Be slow to anger, Cain. ⁓ Rule your spirit. Take me ⁓ at my word. Fear the Lord, Cain. Take the path of wisdom. A|22:03|Well, you know the story. By the next verse, verse 8 of chapter 4, Cain's anger turns into rage and culminates in murder. ⁓ He kills his very ⁓ own brother. ⁓ And though this is the first moment in the Bible where we see human anger, anger here that leads to murder, it should not have been this way. A|22:29|What happened with Cain and Abel should never have happened. The first glimpse of anger in human history should have happened ⁓ in the garden. Should have been a good ⁓ anger. Adam and Eve should have looked that serpent, the devil, in the eyes when they told him that they don't need God. Matter of fact, they can be God. A|22:56|They should have recognized the lie, been filled with good and holy and righteous anger and ⁓ killed the snake. But they didn't. And where the first Adam failed, the last ⁓ Adam did not. In the garden, God promised that from the seed of Eve there would come one who would crush the devil's head. A|23:22|And so Jesus came into this world ⁓ on ⁓ a mission to confront the serpent, to defeat ⁓ sin, ⁓ death, ⁓ to crush the head of the enemy. How does righteous anger look in in God's kingdom? Like skull crushing. ⁓ A|23:46|But righteous anger in God's kingdom, skull crushing, doesn't equal ⁓ John Wick. Righteous anger in God's ⁓ upside down kingdom is, well, upside down. Jesus, the seed of the woman, was betrayed by his good friend Judas. He was denied by one of his closest apprentices, Peter. A|24:15|And his entire ⁓ band of disciples, his beloved disciples, his chosen ones, they ⁓ all betrayed him. He's mocked, spit on, beaten, falsely accused, and nailed to a Roman cross, and yet ⁓ he does not lash out. He doesn't even defend himself. Rather, he ⁓ prays. ⁓ A|24:42|He turns the other cheek. He he stays faithful. He forgives. He absorbs evil without himself becoming evil. Kingdom anger is not passive. It is not indifferent, but anger so ⁓ submitted to the Father that it refuses to become the very thing it hates. God shows his love for you. ⁓ A|25:11|In that while you were his enemy, think about that for a second. While you were God's enemy, Christ died for you. Friends, Jesus absorbs the righteous ⁓ wrath, ⁓ anger of God. God is slow to anger for sure. You see that throughout the pages of Scripture, yet God is also just. A|25:40|His wrath towards sin is ⁓ righteous. Remember from our God Is series, wrath and anger are not attributes of God, but they are how a God who is love responds to sin. When my family stood at A|26:00|Book involved ⁓ a concentration camp in Germany last summer and I read the story about ⁓ the US ⁓ bombers who who attacked this place ⁓ in in in August of nineteen forty-four. The the proper reaction to the wrath of that attack ⁓ from the US is a fist bump. A|26:25|Fist bump that needed to happen. This is how ⁓ the wrath of God works, friends. Though he's slow to anger, sin will ⁓ be ⁓ punished. And here's where it gets ⁓ personal. All of us, ⁓ every single one of us, ⁓ have sinned and fallen way short of this ⁓ holy. A|26:53|And righteous God. But because of God's mercy, He does the unimaginable. He aimed that righteous anger. That anger do your sin, ⁓ my sin. He aimed that righteous anger on his perfect, sinless, beloved Son. A|27:23|Have you been? ⁓ A|27:27|By the scandal ⁓ of the gospel. A|27:31|And so the question now remains as I seek to land this plane how then shall we live as God's people? With the proverbs in our hands, how shall we then live in this already and not yet upside down kingdom? ⁓ Anger is being affected deeply by wrong. ⁓ At the core of what anger is, it's this being ⁓ displeased at wrong. A|28:00|Sometimes our perception of reality is wrong, so so we imagine things that aren't true, ⁓ so our anger is out of line from the get-go. ⁓ But sometimes we're angry because we see wrong, real wrong, or we've really been wrong. The path of wisdom knows when something is wrong, can call it wrong, and yet is ⁓ slow to anger. A|28:29|It doesn't ignore what is wrong, but it moves slowly because it also knows sin is crouching at the door. And God says you must rule ⁓ over it. Maybe you're in here this morning and you know you have an anchor problem. A|28:47|Maybe that that that that anger often turns into bad anger. Maybe it's never good anger. But all versions of returning evil ⁓ for evil, whatever that looks like, is bad anger. God calls you this morning to turn away from that. To instead choose the the path of wisdom. This is what repentance is all about. ⁓ A|29:14|In the life of the Christian, in the words of Martin Luther, is the life ⁓ of ⁓ repentance. This week I had to do a lot of repenting from anger. I say this often, but but preaching is the best and the worst. ⁓ God's not gonna let me say anything that He hasn't first wrecked me of. ⁓ A|29:36|Literally last ⁓ this last week, ha Holly and I have been deeply hurt by someone we love. ⁓ Anger has been ⁓ one of my primary emotions for the last nine days. ⁓ Anger at this person. ⁓ At times, Holly and I try not to let anger get between us. ⁓ And then I look at the preaching schedule and I get to preach this text. ⁓ Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty. A|30:06|And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. Friends, in the gospel, God has been slow ⁓ to anger with you. And now he calls us to imitate him to be ⁓ slow ⁓ to anger. Lately I've become obsessed with Proverbs 17:27. A|30:31|Especially love the the the CSB translation. It it says, ⁓ One who keeps a cool head is a person of ⁓ understanding. A cool head. This is wisdom. You may not be up to speed on all the latest trends. You might not be a a hip hop head ⁓ or a sneaker head, ⁓ a dead head, a pothead. ⁓ Harry Potter, obviously. ⁓ A|31:01|But the Bible calls you to something far ⁓ greater. A cool head. This is wisdom. And how do we practically do this? How do we become these type of people? The cool heads. ⁓ Like I got two things and then I'm done. Two of our core values here at ⁓ RP. ⁓ Spirit-led. Spirit-led and ⁓ A|31:29|Committed to ⁓ community. First spirit led. I read ⁓ over the course of the summer, ⁓ Holly and I read the Steve Jobs biography. And it was fascinating. ⁓ The former CEO of Pixar and Apple was a genius ⁓ and a lunatic. ⁓ At one point, Steve Jobs was asked towards the end of his life: why are you so angry and mean? ⁓ A|31:59|He says, is just who I am, and I can't do anything about it. And in all reality, he's right. This is a good definition of total depravity. But this is not our story. If you're a follower of Christ this morning, the Spirit of God, ⁓ the Holy Spirit, the third person of the Trinity has come ⁓ and made his home, has taken ⁓ residence ⁓ in ⁓ you. ⁓ A|32:28|Let let's be spirit led and watch him change us from the inside out. ⁓ You want patience, you want self-control. It's not try harder, do better. These are fruit of the spirit. ⁓ Friends, the only way we can even fear the Lord. ⁓ A|32:48|Take him at his word. The only way we can do that, become slow to anger, rule our spirits is if the spirit ⁓ is inside of us. So let's be a church that practices ⁓ the presence of God. Let's be spirit-led. Amen. Amen. And second, committed to community. A|33:09|The Bible talks so much about imitation. Mark will preach a sermon next week ⁓ on this theme, but you will become ⁓ who you spend time with. So we stay with our theme in anger here. Proverbs 22 ⁓ says this: Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare. A|33:38|Bad anger is contagious, but so is the path of wisdom. So do life together with those who are seeking to imitate Christ. If you are not in a GC, get ⁓ in one this semester. Imagine, church, if we were the cool heads. Not afraid to call wrong wrong, not unwilling to fight ⁓ injustice, but ⁓ slow to anger. A|34:07|Able to rule ⁓ our spirits. Imagine what kind of church we can be. Amen. ⁓ Amen. Let me pray.
The Wise Tongue
Summary
In this episode, we explore the profound impact of words on our lives, drawing insights from Proverbs and the life of Jesus to understand how our speech reflects our hearts and influences our world. Discover practical wisdom on speaking life, healing wounds, and aligning our words with God's purpose.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction: The significance of the tongue in Proverbs
02:12 The influence of words on our lives and relationships
03:55 God's view on the power of words in creation and reflection
06:07 The dual nature of the tongue: blessing and tearing down
07:53 The destructive power of careless words and the healing potential of wise speech
09:48 Characteristics of wise words: truth, kindness, and precision
12:00 The importance of timing and context in speech
14:14 The role of the heart in our words: Proverbs and Luke
16:02 The gospel's transformative power over our speech
17:55 Jesus' perfect words and His sacrifice on the cross
20:11 The Spirit's work in healing our tongues at Pentecost
21:58 Our words' purpose: glorifying God and building others
24:01 Practical steps: reflecting on our words and seeking forgiveness
25:54 Encouragement to speak life and trust God's oversight
28:07 Closing prayer: loosing our redeemed tongues for God's purpose
Resources
The Bible, Proverbs, Luke, John, Ephesians - https://www.biblegateway.com/
Proverbs - The Book of Wisdom - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs&version=NIV
Jesus Christ - The Savior - https://www.christianity.com/wiki/jesus-christ
Holy Spirit - The Comforter - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+14&version=NIV
Be Attentive
Summary
In this episode, we explore the importance of attention in our lives, how the attention economy manipulates us, and practical wisdom from Proverbs on guarding our hearts and focusing on what truly matters. Discover how to live wisely in a distracted world and the eternal implications of where we place our attention.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Proverbs and the Good Life
01:25 The Attention Economy and Its Manipulation
02:51 Addicted by Design: Casino Strategies and Digital Distraction
06:53 The Impact of Phone Use on Our Lives and Opportunities
08:49 Guarding Our Hearts and Attention in a Distracted World
11:33 The Anatomy of Wisdom: Paying Attention in Proverbs
12:58 Focus Your Eyes and Guard Your Heart
13:58 Ponder the Path and Avoid the Path of Folly
19:16 Warning Against the Path of the Forbidden Woman
21:09 Case Study: The Play of Folly and Temptation
26:04 The Dangers of Following the Heart and the Path to Destruction
27:31 Practical Steps to Guard Your Heart and Attention
30:23 Listening to God's Word and Pondering the Path
32:19 Christ, Our Wisdom and Hope in a Distracted World
Resources
Covenant Eyes - https://www.covenanteyes.com/
The Purity Principle by Randy Alcorn - https://www.amazon.com/Purity-Principle-Randy-Alcorn/dp/1601422784
Proverbs - The Good Life Series - https://www.bible.com/series/2384-the-good-life-series
Christ Alone - The Ultimate Wisdom - https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/christ-alone-the-ultimate-wisdom
guest links
Website - https://markoshman.com
Twitter - https://twitter.com/markoshman
The Beginning of Wisdom
Transcript:
good morning. how are we doing? Good? It's good to see all your faces there and back from vacation, some of you. Most of you are still on vacation, but it is good to see you. we are launching into a new series through the book of Proverbs. If you have a Bible, you can begin to make your way there. It's in the middle of your Bible, right after Psalms. So if you've found Psalms, go to the right. We have scripture journals, which are just the book of Proverbs with
some lines for you to take notes if you want as our gift for you. you can get it now or on your way out. maybe over the next month. There's thirty-one chapters in Proverbs. Work your way through a chapter a day and follow along with us as we work our way through the book of Proverbs. We're calling it the good life. And that's simply this this comes out of this reality that all of us are are are constantly searching for, whether we know it or not.
We're we're arranging our lives, we're we're saying our things, we're pursuing and spending our money in pursuit of the good life. In some way, shape, or form, what what what we see as what will be satisfying, will what will bring joy to our soul. We're all on a pursuit. Everyone who has ever lived has been on this pursuit. Now the Eastern worldview and Eastern religions like Hinduism and Buddhism would say
That's the problem. Desire is the problem. If we could just detach from desire and and get lost in the cosmic nirvana, then there'd be no pain and suffering, and that would be a heaven for them, essentially. But the Bible never says that. The Bible says the problem is not your desires. God actually gave us desires, and he desires that we would pursue our joy. The problem is in a broken and fallen world with broken and fallen hearts and minds, our our desires get jumbled. They get missed. They get
they they get often put out of order and so we're we're all trying to pick up the pieces and and and pursue the good life. Now all that for for all of us that looks a little bit different. and in this series we're gonna look at what w what what does God actually say is the good life. And it's not just having a a safe, happy s happy secure life because if if this is the path to that kind of life then
The wisest person who has ever lived, Jesus Christ, didn't achieve it. He was the the wisest person and he followed the path perfectly, and in the end, he's betrayed by his friends. He's beaten, bloodied, bruised, he dies on a cross for us. And so God has something else in mind. God has some eternal purposes for us in this series as we pursue the good life. But we're all on that pursuit. And it's difficult because.
W we we know there's parts to it. And it's a little bit like herding cats, right? You're like, I I've got this cat over here. This is my job. This is my career. I'm gonna spend time and energy and effort, make sure it's good. But I gotta check over here 'cause my marriage now needs some work and and I need some time and energy and effort
my kids, my kids need some time and energy and effort. I need some time and energy and effort in my health in my own mind. Like w once you get one settled down, the others kinda wander off. That's what it feels like sometimes, right? Anyone feel that? Just me? Okay, am I preaching here? Okay. So there we go. Yeah, it's just how do you manage that? How how do you do that? What what what is the path for that? Well, the Bible says there th th that that that's just this part of eternity side of eternity, but there is some
wisdom to follow. There are some things to do. Now, we we live in a time and a culture where there we there is no shortage of opinion out there how to do things. There's no shortage of gurus and experts and and we are obsessed with technique and and and performance and and shortcuts. And so w we curate our our social media and news feeds. We we listen to the right podcasts, read the right books, but but they always overpromise and under deliver. Again it's just
hurting cats. Like and so we we we're like, okay, we're just trying to get on. And everyone's in this room today in some way, shape, or form, because you're on pursuit of the good life. And maybe you're like, maybe I just need to add a little bit of God to my life and and that will help. But but however you're here, I'm glad you're here because we are about to begin a journey, a a path through this book. Now this book we're we're familiar with, usually only in the t in the sense of the the pithy sayings, pulling them
just one and and you can, like Proverbs twenty-seven seventeen. I was thinking, as as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. And you're like, dude, yes, love that. That's gonna be a tattoo, it's gonna be our men's retreat. we we need a sharp we're gonna iron's gonna sharpen iron. Like I you can do that. You can pull this book apart. You you actually don't even have to be a a believer in God at all.
To come to this book and and pull some of these things and apply them to your life and and and see some fruit of that. But but if you were to do that, you you would actually miss the point of the book. You would miss the forest for the trees. Right? It'd be a little bit like, well, do we have any puzzle puzzle people here? You like to do puzzles? Okay, we got a few. Earlier this week, my my wife and one of my daughters was they they they they are they started late, but they laid out the puzzle pieces.
And I was going to bed and it was just all on top of the and and the pieces individually, they were pretty. Like I I was like, I don't know what this makes, but look at this piece. That's cool. That's usually how we approach the book of Proverbs. Like, look at this piece. It's cool. But but that that would be to miss the forest for the trees. And so we we don't want to do that. Let me give us some just some things to think about as we head out on this journey. God wants to give us a vision for and a pathway toward.
the good life, but it may not be the good life that you are thinking. the aim of this book as we walk this path with God and with one another is to behold the good life. But but this book is it's a particular kind of genre. Meaning the Bible has several different different genres. It's called wisdom literature. and that's different and how we understand that and how we interpret that is different than say historical narrative.
Or law, or the prophets, or the gospels, or the epistles, or apocalyptic literature. It has it's its own genre. And so to rightly understand we that we have to understand that it uses poetry and imagery and parallelisms and hyperbole and all all sorts of things. When we start to understand that we'll start to get the book. But I think the puzzle analogy is helpful in this way, especially with this book. everyone that does puzzles knows there's there's a process, right?
Well w you you lay out all the pieces on the table, turn face up so you can actually see them, and then what's the first thing you do? Yeah, you find the corner. Edges is second, but I'm I'm just saying. 'Cause today, in my sermon notes, it says we're gonna set the corners. That's what we're gonna do. And then number two, we're gonna set the edges. That's what that's gonna happen over the next several weeks. And then what do you do? Well well you start to group. You start to group them like
This looks like that tree over here, and that this looks like that bird over there. Well, whatever. You start to group them, you're starting to put them together. And and we'll we'll start to do some of that in this series. We're not gonna put the puzzle together completely. We we couldn't. Like this is this is meant to be a lifelong journey on the pursuit of wisdom. This isn't a book like the book of Romans that we would work verse by verse. It's more like let's set the edges, set the corners, start to understand.
the picture and then pursue it on our own and and in community together. So that's the that's one of the first things. The other thing is you need to know that Proverbs is good news to us. It's good news to us because in God's word it it is telling us that God cares about the details of our lives. Not just the big picture. He he cares and he wants to help us. He wants to come alongside us and and help us in our speech.
To speak wisely to one another and to our spouse and to our kids. He wants to help us in in our our work and our work ethic and and our finances. He wants to help us in our character. He wants to help us in every area of our life because it's all God's world, all of it matters to him. And Proverbs is a help to us. So it's good news to us in that way. It's also good t news to us is because with all scripture, Jesus says this in in John's gospel.
All scripture, including every book of the Old Testament, in some way, shape, or form points to Jesus. So so in a unique way in the the the canon of Scripture, Proverbs is going to show us Jesus. And that is good news indeed. So let's jump in. If you have your Bible, Proverbs chapter one, we'll pick it up in verse one. Listen carefully, this is God's word. Says the Proverbs of Solomon
Son of David, King of Israel, to know wisdom and instruction. Let's pause right there for a moment. Right away we see both the who, who wrote this, and the why. we we see that it's Solomon. We can read about Solomon's life in the book of 1 Kings. He's the third king of Israel. He's the son of David and Bathsheba. And as he takes on the the the throne as a young man, he's overwhelmed by.
it all. He's overwhelmed by that that this is God's people and this is God's nation and God is reigning and ruling. And he set this young man on the throne. And so one night we read about in First Kings three that that God comes to Solomon and says, I will grant your request. And and Solomon essentially says, This is a huge task. This is an important task. And he says, Give your servant therefore an understanding mind to govern your people, that I may discern between good and evil. He's
Asking for wisdom, for who is able to govern this your great people? He says the task is bigger than me. And the only way that this can ha that I can do this well is if you give me wisdom. And God is pleased with his request. And in the subsequent chapters, you see that God grants him wisdom. The scripture says that he has more wisdom than anyone that came before him or after him.
Except for Jesus, he is the wisest person who has ever lived. And we see it work out. He wh what makes him so wise? He's well, he wants wisdom. He we're gonna see later in today in the past like it should be something we want and seek after and and search diligently for. But but he he's a student of reality. He's a philosopher. He studies creation and he says this is all your creation, and it all points to you in some way. And so he studies trees and
And reptiles and fish and rivers and and and the moon and the stars. He he he just says this is all speaking about who God is. Not only that, he's a collector of wisdom and knowledge. So he doesn't just write all these things or come up with these things himself. No, he he's a student of other cultures and other wisdom traditions. And he he takes that and he he he puts it in a compilation in the book. There are there are other sources of wisdom in this book. There are some from Egypt, for example.
He he recognizes that all truth is ultimately God's truth and ultimately points to him. And so he puts that in there. He pursues wisdom. He walks in wisdom. Let's define a few terms. It says the proverbs of Solomon. What's a proverb? Well, a biblical proverb is a generalization about how life usually works in the world that God has ordered. Not a promise or a guarantee. Meaning it doesn't always work this way because the world is.
Broken. And we can't come to Proverbs and claim them as promises over our lives. And and we're tempted to do that because out of context, you can be like, I need this. This is what I really need. let me give you for a few examples. The most common one, anyone who's ever been to a a parenting conference or read a parenting book will read Proverbs twenty two, six. Train up a child in the way he should go. And when he is old, he will not depart from it. That's not a promise. It's a generalization.
And so what happens is if you carry it as a promise and your child who has their own will and grows up may have their own rebellion before the Lord, well what happens when they walk away? You're either disillusioned with God, angry with God, or guilty in yourself. I must have done something wrong because you took a promise that was just a proverbial truth. Another one, Proverbs 22 or 10, 3. The Lord
Does not let the righteous go hungry, but he thwarts the cravings of the wicked. The Lord never lets the righteous go hungry. That's not true in this world. We just saw a few weeks ago, Psalm 73. That's the problem. It looks like the the wicked are prospering and the the righteous are are suffering. Why is that that Psalmist is wrestling with? And sometimes that is the case. And so if you understand, as you read through Proverbs, these are general truths about
How God has created and ordered the world. There's another word there, the word wisdom, the key word here. Biblical wisdom. Wisdom is, in Proverbs, is skill in the art of living. That could be the short definition. Skill in the art of living. The practical and moral competence to navigate God's world as it actually is. Wisdom is the ability to know what is
To take the information that you know, and only God knows all the information, but the information you know and rightly apply it in any given circumstance. So so wisdom says, I I speak to this child of mine in this way, but this child needs me to speak differently. There's not a verse for that. Wisdom knows how to how and when to speak to your spouse about these things. Wisdom knows about how how money works and and and how work works and all these.
things. It's the pri it's the art of living. Or or to use a a sports illustration a sports illustration for you. So every sport has rules, boundaries, guidelines. And so to play the sport, first thing you you got like, what are the rules? What do I have to do? And you learn the rules and y and usually you understand those. unless it's cricket, I don't think anyone knows those rules. I think they're still making them actually mid game. But
And apparently we don't know what a red card or a yellow card is or when the president can call that in. I don't know. that's a different thing. But for the most part, for the most part, even the fans of the crowd know the rules and they they know what's happening. But th that's not enough. Obviously you need you need the players, you need the the athletes. They train, they they practice, they they work on specific skills and a and and to prepare themselves for the moment. But that's not that's not wisdom either. You you need a game plan. Now you're starting to get into
wisdom of game plan for life, but a as Mike Tyson said, everyone has a game plan until you get punched in the face. wisdom is after you get punched in the face, now what do you do? Now how do you succeed in life? Right? Like, obviously the USA played terrible last week and I don't even watch soccer. I'm like, this looks terrible. and there's lots of blame to go around but but all the commentators and the journalists have pointed out, you know, one of the things is that is clear is
In the midst of the game, the adjustments weren't made. we were outcoached. That's a wisdom issue. How do you apply what you know to the art of sport? So w we need wisdom. And I love what Pastor Theologian, one of one of the wisest guys I know about, Ray Ortlin, ha what he says about this. He says, God does not intend to crush us with layer upon layer of demand. He intends to help us. The priest taught his law.
Prophets declared his word, and the sages or wise men gave his counsel. This is God's grace to us, giving his counsel to us. Wisdom is super important. Again, Ray Orland talking about the importance of wisdom. What if we what if we have other things but we don't have wisdom? What would happen there? Listen to what he says. He says, if we have love but not wisdom.
We will harm people with the best of intentions.
If we have courage but not wisdom, we will blunder boldly. If we have truth, but not wisdom, we will make the gospel ugly to other people. If we have technology but not wisdom, we will use the best communications ever invented to broadcast stupidity. If we have revival but not wisdom, we will use the power of God to throw the church.
into reverse gear. And he says, Wisdom is the grace of Christ beautifying our daily lives. I love that. So wisdom. What is wisdom? We we saw that in in fact in this prologue wisdom kind of he sets it in a in a a spot to define itself. Notice all the synonyms verse two to know wisdom and instruction, to understand words of insight, to receive instruction in wise
Dealing in righteousness, justice, and equ equity, to give prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the youth. Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance, to understand a proverb and a saying, the words of the wise and their riddles. So who needs wisdom? Well, we we saw it here first in verse four.
To give prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the youth. Now that word simple there is not a pejorative term. No one likes to be called a simple, but we don't know what we don't know. We all start off simple. A and so this book was probably first used to train young boys becoming men. Like, hey, as you go out into the world, as you walk the path of life, there's gonna be some dangers along the way, and you can either learn them here or you can learn them on your own.
And it would be much better if you could just learn them here than on your own. And so that's one thing. So it's to equip the youth. You're like, well, I'm not simple and I'm not youth, so I guess that doesn't apply to me. But verse five says, Let the wise hear and increase in learning. And the one who understands obtain guidance. So now we have the wise also. This is for the wise, because here's the first mark of a wise person. A wise person
knows that there's more to know. A wise person knows that they have not arrived. A wise person is not content with, well, everyone should come to me and and ask me because I'm beyond it. A wise person is like, there's more. God is infinite. I'm fine. I have I I might be a couple more steps a on the road in this area than your life, and I can help you, but I haven't arrived. And so this is for the wise, the one who understands. So you have on the one hand
The simple and the youth and the wise and everyone in between. This is an all play. We could all use more wisdom. We all need to learn the art of living well. Well, where do we begin? Well, if this is a journey, you you begin at the trailhead, right? that that's usually where journeys begin. A few days ago or my one of my daughters said, we went on this hike.
But it routed it routed us to the destination and not the trailhead. You can't just arrive. There there is a trailhead, and at the trailhead, it is the first step. And thankfully, the book of Proverbs starts with the trailhead. Now it's a trailhead that none of the gurus, none of the experts will tell you this is how you get wisdom, but it is the spine of the book of Proverbs. And when we explain it, you'll understand why.
This is the beginning. Look what it says, verse seven. The thesis of the book. So the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. Fools despise wisdom and instruction. At the trailhead, the first step on the path to wisdom is this fear of the Lord. So so think of a passage very famous, Isaiah chapter six. In the year King Uzziah died, Isaiah
goes into the temple and he says, And I saw the Lord high and lifted high, and the train of his robe filled the temple, and the seraphim and the angels were crying out, Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty. And in that moment Isaiah sees reality for the very first time the veil is removed, and he says, Woe is me! I'm finished, for I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and I have seen the Lord high and lifted up.
And he repents and he gets on his face. He does the first wise thing of his life. He repents before a holy God. Go to the New Testament. Early in the ministry of Jesus. He comes to the sea to the shore at the Sea of Galilee and he sees his disciples, Peter and the boys who had been fishing all night. That's their job, but they hadn't caught anything. And he says, Hey,
Can you take me out and and let's do some more fishing? And they're like, Okay, you you do the rabbi thing, we'll do the fishing thing, but whatever you say, Rabbi, and they get in the boat with him and he goes, he's like, Go out here into the deep part, you know, where there's never any fish, and and and throw out your net. And they're like, Okay. And they do, and it it's immediately full of fish. And in that moment the veil is lifted from Peter's eyes. And he's not celebrating the fish. All of a sudden he's like, Lord, depart from me.
For I'm a sinful man, and I can't be in your presence. He does the first wise thing anyone on the trail could do. Repent. Turn from God. Recognize God is holy and we are not. But what about what about for those of us that are in Christ? This is that that's a fear of the the transcendent holiness of God, but but in Christ, we we know that.
We we don't have to fear in that way because we have the righteousness of Christ. We've been welcomed into the Holy of Holies. We're welcomed in as sons and daughters into the very throne room of God. So the the fear of the Lord for us is not a a a terror like, no, he's going to undo us like Isaiah. The fear of the Lord for us is a is a reverential man. I want my life.
To be lived before your face in everything I do, in everything I say, in in all my dealings, I I want to recognize that I am never in the room alone. You are always with me, and you love me and you died for me and you want the best for me. And so I want my life to honor and glorify you. And I never want to do anything that grieves your heart. This is the fear of the Lord for the followers of Jesus. Immediately, if you had what the reformers called quorum deo, the
The face of God, if you recognize that truth every moment of your life, you would talk differently. You would spend your money differently. You would do your work differently. Your character would be changed. Why? Because have you ever been in a room with someone you have a ton of respect for? That just you just want to honor in their life? Yeah, you do that. And so the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge because we recognize He is always with us in His perfection.
And his holiness, he is for us and not against us. He has covered us with his blood, and we journey this path with him. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. Twenty times in this book, we're going to be commanded, fear the Lord. Fear the Lord. Fear the Lord. Proverbs chapter nine. I put it on the bulletin as a a a memory verse. If you come for nine weeks, you'll get nine memory verses. But here it is.
The again the thesis of the book. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. And the knowledge of the Holy One is insight. This is it. We keep this before us. Proverbs chapter three. Many of you have verse five and six memorized, but don't forget verse seven. It says, Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not lean on your own understanding, which is hard because that's all we ever want to do. When when life hits hard, I'm like, I'm gonna lean on my own understanding.
It's like, don't do it. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes. Fear the Lord and turn away from evil. This is the trailhead. This is the corner pieces of the puzzle. This is the core. This is why you can't just come to this book and pull out little thin nuggets for your life. You have to understand the trailhead. Well, I also said.
That this book will point us to Jesus. And so the question is how does this passage point us to Jesus? I I think there's probably several ways, and maybe you can think of some on your own. but for me, I'm I'm struck with verse one. It says the Proverbs of Solomon, son of David. And the reason that strikes me is because, again, the Bible itself says, hey.
There's no one that's been as wise as Solomon, and no one after him has been as wise as him. he's the wisest man who ever lived. But but we have more of the Bible. And we know this man who taught about the the dangers of sexual immorality and the dangers of pride and the dangers of wealth and the dangers of power and and the dangers of not being humble. The man who
Teaches us all these things, that has all this wisdom, in the end he forgets the fear of the Lord, and he gives in to all of those things.
Again, how does this point us to Jesus? Because the point of Proverbs isn't, hey, let's be like Solomon. Let's be as wise as Solomon. None of us will be as wise as Solomon. The point of Proverbs isn't that we need Solomon, it's that we need someone better than Solomon. Enter Jesus. In Luke chapter five, no rather Matthew chapter twelve, Jesus is teaching.
Verse forty two, it on the screen, it says, The Queen of the South will rise up at the judgment. This is a story from Solomon's life. The Queen of the South will rise up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it. For she came from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon, and behold something greater than Solomon is here. Or rather, someone greater than Solomon is here. We don't need Solomon, we need Jesus.
Paul says, First Corinthians 1 30, Jesus is the wisdom of God. This is good news for us because wisdom is a person, wisdom incarnate. It's good news for us because Jesus said, I will never leave you or forsake you. I will be with you to the very end of the age. So as followers of Jesus on the path pursuing the good life, we we get to go hand in hand with the very incarnation of wisdom. Not our wisdom, his wisdom. This is good news.
So Solomon charges us as he starts out his book in chapter two with a charge. But again, we don't do this on our own, hand in hand with Jesus beside us, with Jesus in us, empowering us, receive this charge, redemption Parker. Proverbs chapter two, start in verse one. My son or daughter, if you receive my words and treasure up my commands with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and
And inclining your heart to understanding. Yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom from his mouth, come knowledge and understanding. Amen. Amen. Let's pray as we walk out of here.